Displaying 31-38 of 38 results.

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

Ok, now this is a new one which doesn't know where to start and where to end and who knows anyway what is happening in this nonsense world to stop the mayhem FML

Ok, now this is a new one which doesn't know where to start and where to end and who knows anyway what is happening in this nonsense world to stop the mayhem FML

Today, I was trying to convince my husband to not trim the lower branches of my favorite tree. After pleading my case, I turned around and ran smack into one of said branches. My face and my dignity still hurt. FML

Today, I finally got the chance to meet this wonderful guy I met on a dating site. She was very excited to see me, too. FML

Today, I got a ticket for panhandling to get gas money so that I could both drive out to a job interview AND still have enough gas to pick up my dad. Apparently, these particular cops had nothing better to do than harass me for standing quietly next to a freeway entrance with a silly sign. FML

Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harness correctly. For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps. I cannot un-see that picture. It wasn't even a harness safety class. FML

Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat.